My eyes blinked open. I was on my back, staring at a ceiling. All sorts of paraphernalia hung down --- TV monitors, LCD's, IV tubing, AOL up-grade discs, gads of blinking lights and switches; test-patterns galore. Operating-room lights blazed. Everything loomed shiny-metallic and clinical. Gleaming. Imposingly futuristic.

A barely remembered dream filled my head. So foggy and distant. Something about a pair of women, both dreamboats, totally naked, adorned with the oddest stuff --- multiple piercings --- sleighbells --- identification tattoos on their soles and occiputs --- branded at left buttock; between jiggly boobs --- smaller markings, wonderfully subtle, here, there, and everywhere. And they,.. errr,... they,... ahhh,... darn it! I couldn't remember!

And there was something else I couldn't do.

Shit! I was totally paralyzed! There must've been an accident!

Now it was coming back to me. I'd been en-route to some fucking Barber school, rendered unconscious by security goons, and the ship probably crashed. Those kinky memories were just hallucinations brought on by trauma and drugs!

Then a voice sounded.

"Hey! You're finely awake!"

It was distinctly female. I rolled my eyes trying to see, but she was outside my field of vision.

"I can't move!", I blurted. "I'm totally paralyzed!"

"Hey, if it were total, you wouldn't be able to talk. Or roll those cute eyes of yours. Or, for that matter, breathe!"

"Oh really? Fucking grea-a-a-a-a-a-t consolation!", I snapped. "I can't move my extremities, torso, or neck, Sister! What the fuck happened to me?"

"First of all", the woman calmly said, as she entered my sight-line, "It's Doctor, not Sister. Secondly, you can still move your bowels just fine, as evidenced by the enema we'd administered before your colonoscopy. And, good news! No polyps or hemorrhoids! If fact it all checks out!"

"What?"

"I've been examining you. Quite thoroughly, I might add. And, except for having been severely dehydrated, you are one healthy dude! Hee! Hee! Especially in the reproductive department, if you get my drift!"

Then she'd winked at me. Smiled too! My brain reeled. Did she say, healthy?"

"I'm fucking paralyzed!", I screamed back!"

"Well of course you are", she replied. "It's the collar you're wearing. It's set on level-4, the one we typically use for comprehensive exams."

"C-Collar?"

"Of course! Whad-ya think? That you had a spinal cord injury or something? Hey! That's a good one! Hee! Hee!"

"You m-mean you can turn me on or off with a collar?"

"Well, that depends", she responded in a huskier tone, palming my thigh, "on what you mean by 'turn on'?"

She was right. I didn't have a spinal cord injury. I could feel things just fine --- not the least of which was her exploring hand, caressing through the draw-sheet. And, as we'd locked eyeballs ( she was pixie cute; very Carrie Anne Moss-ish ) I felt something else --- the stirring of my dick!

"Hello! What have we here?", she purred, like a contented cat. Unobservant, she was not! "Is that an alien trying to get out? Or is someone erecting a tent-pole under there? Hee! Hee!"

I turned bright red. Yep! It sure wasn't total paralysis. My dick, courtesy of the Doc's roving touch and beguiling demeanor, was approaching half-mast!

"I d-don't know w-what to s-say, Doctor", I stammered, eyes shifting toward the IV in my arm. "Maybe it's t-the medicine."

"Call me Reeve", she replied, sounding sultrier by the second. "And pooh! I'm disappointed. You mean that teepee has nothing to do with me?"

"Hey, what do I know?", I replied. "I'm no physiologist. I'm supposed to become a fucking barber!"

"No kidding?", she sarcastically quipped. "Maybe that's why you're at the Barber Academy! Duh!"

"I am?"

"Yep! In it's Medical facility to be specific.

"Medical f-facility?"

"And I'm Dr. Reeve Lois, Chief Medical Officer ( CMO ), performing your entrance examination."

"Shit! This is going from bad,... to really bad!"

"I sense a lot of hostility in you", she huffed. "What's the problem, anyway?"

"I don't wanna be a stupid barber! I wanna be a Star-pilot!"

"There's no such thing as a stupid barber", she snapped back! "The only thing stupid is your attitude!"

For some reason, Reeve loomed incredibly charming while carrying on. Something about that lock of hair that kept falling across her face, and the fetching way she repeatedly pushed it back. And her business-like coiffure --- easy to care for --- entirely chic. There it was again --- my talent for noticing pointless minutiae.

"Barbers are geniuses", she continued, "at the cutting edge of the Zeitgist! No pun intended. Their legacy is untouchable! Why do you think they're treated as heroes?

Heroes? That sounded familiar, but I couldn't place why --- nor keep my mouth shut.

"W-What legacy?", I blurted.

"You don't know?"

"Honestly, no. I t-thought they j-just gave haircuts?"

Suddenly, her right foot was on my chest. She'd swung it up in response to my latest display of ignorance. And not gently. Had Tweety-Pie been perched up there, it'd been bye bye birdie!

And, ge-e-e-z-z-z-z-e! She was wearing flip-flops! And had incredibly cute toes. With gorgeously enameled nails.

I had a thing about girls in flip-flops,... with incredibly cute toes!

Then she grabbed my left hand ( still limp as a dishrag ); pressed it against her inner thigh.

"I,... errr,... "

"Not just haircuts!", she barked.

"Huh?"

"Funny, you don't look obtuse! They don't just give haircuts! Are you processing?"

"Y-Yah.", I jabbered.

"Tell me what you feel?", she demanded, shifting my hand north-ward.

"Silky-soft g-girl flesh?"

"Well, that's an agreeable description; the first nice thing you've had to say. But not the answer I was looking for."

"I,... errr,... don... "

"Here! Does this give you a clue?"

She'd pulled her skirt all the way up; maneuvered my hand over her pussy. And she wasn't wearing panties!

"What do you feel there, Mr. Star-pilot?"

She was shaved absolutely smooth! Not a stubble! Just like the girls in my hallucination!

"I,... yag... "

"Look", she said impatiently, "just describe what you don't feel!"

"Hair!", I blurted. "T-There's n-no h-hair!"

"Bingo, Boy-wonder! And, by the way, that gloss is permanent --- stretching from nose-to-toes! No more razor-burn for this gal! And, as any woman will attest, that's one fuck of a contribution to Sisterhood!"

Reeve started fingering herself --- employing my fingers! The look on her face segued from lustful,... to garishly lustful!

And guess what? So did the look on mine!

Then she abruptly dropped my hand; spun around and bent over; stuck her big bottom in my face while prying herself open. Had she lunged any closer, I'd have been able to examine her colon!

"And look, no fuzz around the ass-pucker, either!"

"I c-c-can s-see that!", I stammered, not knowing what to expect next.

The suspense didn't last long, however, as Reeve spied my big-top.

"Ye-e-e-e-e-e-s-s-s-s-s-s-s!", she hissed, ripping the sheet away, leaving me naked on the hover-gurney.

"Ga-a-a-a-a-a-w-w-w-w-w-d! That's one beautiful boner!"

"Errr,... excuse me, Docto,... gah!"

"Slurp! Gag! G-u-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-g-l-e! Snort!"

She'd gobbled me like a sword-swallower --- without warning --- pummeling in one fell swoop --- lips to balls --- vocal-cords to prickhead! When she started gurgling, the resonance fostered an ecstasy I'd not felt before --- like I'd just main-lined a quart of testosterone!

"Ga-a-a-a-a-a-a-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e!"

Had there been an award for the 'Most Moronic Utterance' , I'd have had to draft an acceptance speech!

Ditto for 'Most Stupid Expression'!

But, let's face it. What choice did I have?

Reeve's velvety lips loomed prehensile --- vacuuming every inch of my dick --- pore by pore --- from pee-hole to balls --- and then beyond!

"Snort! Swa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-l-l-o-w! Gag! Ga-a-a-a-g! Snort! Snort!"

"I,... gah! Ga-a-a-a-a-gh!"

She'd completely mouthed my nuggets --- lips to crotchbone --- tongue tickling my guy-way.

Guy-way? Where the hell did I come up with that?

"Ahgoona splocha,... Gag,... moshpft,... Snort,... spfghtijpteeep,... Gag!", Reeve garbled.

Gee-e-e-z-z-z-z-e! Didn't her mother ever tell her not to talk with her mouth full?

"Y-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-s-s-s!", she gasped, up-chucking my dick, spattering phlegm like a rabid animal, whirling to face me. Drool dangled from her chin as she swung a leg up; mounted me like a stallion, jettising her flip-flops in the process.

"Don't look so stunned, Boy-wonder", she huskily advised, undulating her cheeky bottom until her ass-pucker engaged my prickhead. "This is simply part of the examination. I need to get a sperm sample."

Yipes!, I thought. What's gonna happen when she needs a stool specimen?

Then her asshole swooped; swallowing me to the balls.

"Ga-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a--h-h-h-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ei-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-g-h!"

Reeve had a beautiful bottom. As round and cheeky as one could imagine ( a.i.c.i.a.l. ). And she knew how to use it, bumping and grinding and mamboing until my eyes felt permanently crossed; testicles were ready to explode.

With perfect timing, she adroitly unmounted, dropping to her knees. The hover-frame swiveled, jolting me bolt upright. My boner wagged fitfully --- 45 degrees to the horizontal --- throbbing like an over-grilled Kielbasa.

"Just one thing, Mr. Star-pilot", she admonished, eyeballing me with as nasty-a-look possible, "I want every drop of yummy goo in my mouth! Don't pull away no matter what! Capish?"

"Y-Yes,... D-Doctor!"

"Snort! Gag! Swa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-l-l-o-w! Ga-a-a-a-g! Mfgoana zhloopha,... Gag,... aftshpft,... Snort,... neeepfteep,... Gag!"

"Ga-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a--h-h-h-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-g-h! Gasp! Pant! Qua-a-a-a-a-a-c-k!"

Again, something about this seemed mighty familiar. But, let's face it, I couldn't process!

"Slurp! Slurp! Suck! Slurp! Slurp! Slurp! Slurp! Slurp! Thro-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-a-a-a-a-t!!"

"Qua-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-c-k! Gasp! Qua-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-c-k! Grunt!"

"Gulp! Glug! Gulp! Glug! Gulp! Gulp!... Swallow!"

"Wow! A Boy-wonder you truly are! Burp!"

Reeve sounded incredibly chipper for someone who'd just quaffed 90% of a goo load. There she was, doing doctor-stuff, analyzing my spending, having preserved some for science; swallowed the rest. She'd obviously done this kind of work before.

I, on the other hand, didn't fare as elegantly.

"I,... gah,... zabbaga,... joop!"

"Hey, don't try to talk yet. It'll take awhile for the V.B.M. to subside. That goo-blast shriveled your vocal cords smaller then Gary Condit's dick! It's a dehydration thing. Nothing that a liter of saline won't fix."

Huh? Did she say V.B.M.? Like in my hallucination? There really is such a thing?

"I,... gah,... zabbaga,... joop! I,... gah,... zabbaga,... joop!"

"Ohhh,... Ok. If it's that important, this'll help you get it out."

She approached my IV with a syringe; injected something in the tubing. The saline was running wide open. I felt my head swirl; then voice-box loosen.

"Gas-s-s-s-s-saht! Zank y-you, D-Doctor."

"Your welcome. But talk slowly. This is only a temporary fix until your larynx un-shrivels. Oh, and by the way, it'll give you a Viennese accent!"

"Vhat?"

"A Viennese accent. You're gonna sound like Sigmund Freud for awhile."

"Zat's inzane!"

"Hey, get a grip! I said,... it's just for awhile!"

Yipes! The way her cute nose wiggled, and lips pouted, was absolutely smitten-izing! Another blast of undiluted charm! And that great lock of wayward hair --- it still beguiled! A word kept trying to surface. Ya,... errr,... Yab,... errr,... damn it,... can't get it out!

"I'm zorry, Doctor", I jabbered. "It'z jahst zat I'm being bombarded vith conflicting emotions. I hate za thought of becoming za barber, yet here I am, at za Barber Academy, vith jaws aching from zmiling!"

"Look:", Reeve consoled, "that's commonplace during the specimen-collection process. Especially with two-fisters! And as for the barber issue, you really ought to give it a chance. Heck, I've been in the field, and that Star-pilot stuff's not all it's cracked up to be! And, from what I've seen so far, you're definitely barber-material!"

"Zhit! I vaz hoping you vouldn't zay zat!"

"In fact", Reeve added, eyeballing my dick ( which wasn't yet fully deflated ), licking her lips, "I'd say you're a natural!"

There it was again. That deja vu feeling!

"It'z happening again!", I blathered.

"What?"

"Zings zat zeem familiar to me, but I don't know vhy! Like I'd heard or zeen zem before! Maybe in zat hallucination I vuz having before I voke up! "

"What kind of things?"

"Vell,... heh heh,... it'z kind of embarrazzing to zay", I sheepishly replied.

"Look, Boy-wonder", Reeve chuckled, "you're stark nude, paralyzed on an upright hover-gurney, shit-eating grin on your mug, having just blown a record goo-load, and your dick is still alive-n-twitching. Oops! Make that alive-n-rising! What else could embarrass you?

"Zat's za good point. Yah!"

"Besides", she continued, reaching to fondle my balls; voice dropping an octave, "I am a Doctor!"

"Ngh-h-h-h-h-t!"

"Now tell me what was so familiar in your dream."

"Vell, for vun zing,... zhaved puzzy!", I jabbered, no doubt looking as stupid as I sounded.

"Humm,... very interesting", Reeve responded. "Please elaborate."

"Ngh-h-h-h-h-t! Gah!"

She was stroking me. Jerking me off. Turning my dick back into that Kielbasa. I rolled my eyes lower, peeking at her feet. Oh boy! The flip-flops were back.

"Come on", she cooed, "tell the Doctor everything."

"Zere vere two Frauleins, both totally naked, except for piercings and restraints, and both vhere zhaved from noze-to-toes! Jahst like,... errr,... ahhh,... like you!"

"Hummm,... I see. And tell me, did their piercings resemble these?"

She'd relinquished my dick; stepped back; unbuttoned her lab-coat; pulled her blouse up over her tits. She was bra-less --- sporting cute-as-pie A-cups --- with nipples that could double as can-openers --- each sporting a gleaming gold hoop.

"Y-Yah!", I'd blurted. "Jhast like zoze!

Then she resumed jerking me off.

"Ngh-h-h-h-h-t! Yag "Ngh-h-t!"

"What else was familiar?"

"Z-Zleighbells vere attached,... gah,... to za ringz!"

"Oh? You mean like these?"

She'd reached in her pocket; retrieved a velvet pouch; opened it. Abracadabra --- sleighbells!

"I don't wear them while on duty", she said nonchalantly, attaching them to her hoops. "But otherwise, you won't catch me not jingling! Hee! Hee! Like 'em?"

Like 'em? Did Bubba like Interns-day? Did Condit have a pea-dick? Fuckin' yah, I like 'em!

"Oh my!", Reeve smiled, watching my dick lurch like a stepped on rake! "I'd say that's a big yes! Hee! Hee!"

Her expression was altogether aroused; as bawdy as it were fever-pitched. Hoo boy! Something tells me I'm into something good!

My breathing started to mimic Darth Vader!

"What else, Boy-wonder?", she hissed. "What the fuck else was in that dream?"

"Z-zat look y-your giving me. It'z za zame vun,... gah,... za Frauleins vuz giving,... right before zay,... errr,... before zay,... errr,... ngh-h-h-h-h-t! Yag Ngh-h-t!"

Reeve had taken to groping my cock and balls, proving herself ambidextrous. And then clairvoyant.

"Was one of them named name,... Spin?"

"Yahgootenhooten! It zure-az-zhit vas! H-How did you know zat?"

"And the other,... was she called,... Dry? And were they both,... Ponygirls?"

"Bingo! Errr,... I mean,... Yah! Zat's correct! I remember now! Zat's precisely vhat I dreamt! Exactly vhat zay vere!"

Reeve just smiled; now working me like a stick-shift.

"That was no dream, Boy-wonder! Welcome to the Barber Academy on Planet Ponyworldo. But, enough with the Freudian mumbo-jumbo. It's time we got your medical examination back on track!

She pulled on a pair of skin-tight, rubber gloves; then slipped off her lab coat; then her blouse and skirt. Ditto for the flip-flops.

Now fully nude, she spun toward me, so sleek and feminine; nipples too erect for words; rings gleaming; flashing a look that made my eyes well up --- with testosterone!

"And, of course, I expect your full cooperation", she cooed!

"Mind if I come in, Doctor? Hope I'm not interruptin' ye!"

"Of course not. In fact, I think Boy-wonder here could use a familiar face. Hee! Hee!"

"Then fer Clinton's sake, that'd be me! Hello again, Lad!"

I swiveled my eyes toward the visitor. The rest of me remained paralyzed; still on the hover-frame; still positioned upright. Still nude and, thanks to Reeve's examination techniques, fully erect!

"Mos! Y-You do exist!"

My voice had finely returned to normal.

"Well, of fockin' course I do, Lad! Why'd ye think otherwise?"

"After I'd regained consciousness, I couldn't remember what happened. Only little bits here-n-there, and nothing made sense. It seemed too bizarre to be true, so I figured it must've been a dream, or some sort of hallucination!"

"That'd been the dehydration effect", Reeve cut in. "You were down more then three liters,... enough to shrink your brain to the size of a tomato. Spin had really done a number on you! I know she's a former B.I.S., but didn't think she'd be capable of drying you so rampantly. Heck, I found sand deposits in your nostrils and bladder!"

"Well,... ", Mos chuckled, "if the truth be told,... nyuk nyuk,... it wasn't just Spin that'd had a go at the Lad."

"Not just Spin?", Reeve asked in a surprised tone. "Don't tell me you let... "

Mos flashed a sheepish look.

"Guilty as charged, Doctor! But, look, what the fock was I supposed to do? The Lad hadn't blown fer three focking days! I'm no scientist! I can't calculate fluid and electrolyte requirements! I just focking reacted to the situation; figured the Lad could handle a taste of Dry."

"You realize, Sargent", Reeve replied, "that when I hooked him up to a Bubba-gauge, the needle shot around twice; then flew off! I'd say he'd had more then a taste!"

"Yipes!", Mos exclaimed.

"Fortunately", Reeve continued, gripping my dick like a tennis racquet ( western grip ); voice adopting that sultry tone, "he's fully recovered! If you get my drift! Hee! Hee!"

"Nyuk! Nyuk! Yah! I can see thet! ", Mos countered. "Oh well, if ye had ta get dehydrated, Lad, at least your management hasn't been totally unpalatable. Can ye imagine what Dry's gonna go through, until she learns ta go easier on the new recruits?"

My eyes shifted like I were at a tennis match ( maybe that explains Reeve's western grip ). Ony instead of a ball, I was tracking two people discussing my dick!

Mental somersaults abounded. So everything I thought I'd dreamt had been real!

That meant that,... errr,... ahhh,...

"Mos?", I blurted. "Did you get a chance to talk to the Captain about the computer; how maybe it made a,... Quack!,... mistake?"

Reeve was pumping me like a butter-churn; messing with my voicebox again.

"Not yet Lad. But he's anxious to meet ye, thet's fer focking sure! And as soon as things are wrapped-up here, and yer double-vision subsides, we'll do jest thet --- and raise the issue first focking thing! Capish?"

"C-Capish.", I jabbered.

"Errr,... any chance I can,... gah,... get this collar t-turned off? I've gotta,... gah,... s-scratch something."

"Sorry, Boy-wonder", Reeve cut in, "That's precisely why you've got it on! No moving during the examination!"

Then she eyeballed my twitching dick; smirking like a lotto winner!

"Except, of course, for select anatomy! Hee! Hee!"

Then she pumped even faster.

"Ngh-h-h-h-h-t! Yag! Ngh-h-t!"

"Besides", she added as an afterthought, "turning it off doesn't allow for immediate return of function.

"It,... Gah!,... d-doesn't?"

"Fock no, Lad!", Mos cut in. "Movement comes back in a herky-jerky fashion. Not the most elegant thing I've ever seen. I'll admit thet! Ye'll be stumbling about bent-over; dragging knuckles on the ground; mainly relying on yer feet to grab things."

"F-For how,... Ngh-h-h-h-h-t!,... long?"

"Oh fock! Not very! Maybe,... one,... two days at the most!"

"What?"

"Fock! It'll be a piece-o-cake, Lad! We've a special recovery chamber, perfectly equipped fer what yer capabilities will require."

"Yeah!", Reeve giggled, "there's a tire-hanging-from-a-chain; gads of floor-drains, and the whole area gets hosed down every four hours!"

Hosed down? Ngh-h-h-h-h-t!"

"Got to, Boy-wonder. Bowel and bladder control is the last thing to return!"

"She's not fockin' with ye, Lad! Nothin' but the best, here at the Barber Academy!"

"G-Gee, t-that's,... Gah!,... Ngh-h-h-h-h!,... swell!"

The bottom half of the hover frame started moving --- bending my knees and hips --- spread-eagleing me. My balls crudely dangled; dick was giving directions to upstairs. Put me on a roof --- I'd have made one raunchy weather vane!

Mos checked his watch; then addressed Reeve.

"When do ye fathom ye'll be done with the Lad's exam, Doctor?"

She'd just finished snapping on a pair of rubber gloves. Then dropped to her knees; opening a tube of lube; flashing a look that made my hair stand on end.

"Only have the prostate to go", she grinned, ovaling her lips to approximately the circumference of my prick-head. "And, of course,... gotta get a urine sample."