“Please Officer, you have to get them back!” the frantic, middle-aged man said, “I don’t know what I’d do without them.”
“You could buy a couple more pony-girls,” Officer Cadence McGee offered as she pulled her notepad out of her shirt pocket. The heat on this humid, mid-summer day was getting to her, and the last thing she needed was to be bothered with this annoying, timid little worry-wart.
“You don’t understand! Those two are… special.”
“I’m sure they are, sir. Now let’s start with your name.”
“Bart Hoover.”
Cadence wrote his name in her note pad, and then used her forearm to wipe the sweat from her brow. Her eyes were already stinging from her perspiration, adding insult to injury. From behind her, she heard one of her own pony-girls stamp her feet and make a noise through the bit. Turning around to give the culprit her “I mean business” death stare, Cadence saw that it was AAPD Pony-girl #209. Why was she not surprised? The newest member of her four pony team was a short, but strong little animal with Asiatic features: Japanese maybe, but the veteran cop did not know for sure. Nor did she care.
But she did care about her behavior, and 209 was starting to try her patience. The guilty pony-girl was shuffling around and fidgeting, as if she were in a hurry to be somewhere else. The first two hours of the pony’s shift were fine, but her behavior had been growing steadily worse for the last forty minutes or so.
What was her problem anyway? The stupid slave had one simple job to do: pull Cadence’s police carriage! That was it. It was not that difficult. Hell, Cadence was the one that had to do all the work!
After a moment, the neophyte pony looked up and saw her mistress staring at her, and she immediately snapped to attention.
“OK, now describe the carriage,” Officer McGee said, returning her attention to Mr. Hoover. With as many years of experience that she had, Cadence no longer had to try to sound like a cop. Her voice automatically came out hard and stern.
“It’s black with red trim. It has a two person seat that is also red in color, and the license plate number is 1138THX. But that’s not important—“
“I understand that sir, but I have to get all the information first. Is that a Michigan plate?”
“Yes Ma’am,” Mr. Hoover said, shifting back and forth on his feet. Damn, he was probably worse than her slave! The way Cadence figured it, he was probably this nervous in his normal, day to day life. The short, wiry man looked incredibly anal-retentive to her.
Officer McGee finished writing the description, and then looked back up at Mr. Hoover. “OK, now describe the missing pony-girls.”
“Stolen! My girls were stolen, Officer.”
“Were they hobbled?”
“NO! That’s cruel. I never hobble my girls.”
Figured. Cadence let out a deep sigh of frustration, liberally seasoned with contempt. When would people learn? “How do you know they didn’t just run away, sir?”
“Because I saw the thief jump into the carriage and go!”
“Which is an even better reason to hobble your ponies,” she said, putting as much condescension in her voice as possible.
“I never thought my girls would actually obey a thief!”
“They’re pony-girls, sir. They obey all free persons. Now let’s get back to that description of the ponies.” Cadence wiped her forehead again from the never ending onslaught of sweat. She felt like she was waging a losing battle with it.
“OK,” Mr. Hoover said, visibly collecting himself, “The first one’s name is Stephanie—“
“Stephanie?” Officer McGee asked with a raised eyebrow, “that’s your pony’s legal name?”
“Oh, sorry,” he said, his face burning a bright red, “Lucky Lady, her name is Lucky Lady. She’s 39 years old. Medium length, light brown hair and dark brown eyes. She’s five feet, six inches tall and weighs around a hundred twenty pounds.”
“Breed?”
“Um, she’s white, if that’s what you mean.”
“Tits?”
“Yes, she has tits.”
“No sir, how big are they? Firm? Sagging? You know? Describe them to me.”
“What does that have to do with the price of cabbage in China?” Mr. Hoover asked.
“It will help us to identify her since her tits are expo… Wait a minute! The ponies are naked, right? You weren’t breaking the law on me or anything?”
“No ma’am, they were naked. Steph… I mean Lady Luck has C-cup breasts. I think. It’s actually been a long time since she wore a bra, but I think they’re C-cup. They’re a little saggy, but they’re just perfect to me.”
“Just the facts, sir. Now how about her nipples and areolae?”
“What about them?”
“Are they small, large, medium? Pink or rose colored?”
“What is this, some erotic story or something? Does it really matter?”
“Yes sir,” Cadence spat. He was really starting to get under her skin. “We need as many details as possible.”
“Her nipples are kind of small, but her a…ar…orioles or whatever the Hell they’re called are about two inches in diameter. They’re pink, I guess.”
“OK,” Officer McGee said after jotting down the information, “Now for the second pony.”
“Oh, her name’s Jennifer…” Mr. Hoover said, breaking off his sentence when Cadence raised her eyebrow again, “I mean, Master’s Pride. She’s nineteen, and she looks like a younger version of Steph… I mean Lucky Lady.”
“Lady Luck’s the mother?”
“Yes. Master’s Pride has long, light brown hair, and is about an inch taller than Lady Luck, and about the same weight.”
“Tits?”
The slender man frowned for a second, and he looked somewhat uncomfortable with the question, but finally, he answered, “They’re larger than her mother’s, D-cup maybe. As firm as they can be. Large nipples. Her Ariels are slightly smaller than her mom’s.”
“What color harnesses were they wearing?” Cadence asked.
“Black, with red trim, to match the carriage,” Mr. Hoover said.
“Now about this thief, what did he look like?”
“It was a she, and she looked young, like a teenager. Blonde hair in a pony-tail. She was kinda short. Do you want me to describe her tits too?”
“Was she naked?”
“No,”
“Then no, you don’t need to describe them. Tell me what happened.”
“I was coming out of the book store there and I saw the thief standing in my carriage. Before I could react, she snapped the reins and they were off. I just can’t believe this!”
At that moment, one of her pony-girls started to make all kinds of noise. Turning angrily, she saw #209 at it again, stamping her foot and yelling something incomprehensible into her bit. A moment later, the other three ponies joined into the ruckus.
What the fuck?
Following their line of sight, she saw what had agitated the pony slaves. A block away, in the middle of the intersection, was a black and red two-seater carriage pulled by two pony-girls with light brown hair. Standing up on the seat was a young blonde girl waving and smiling at her.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Officer McGee said from under her breath.
“That’s them! That’s them!” Mr. Hoover screamed in a high pitched voice. He was jumping up and down like cheerleader.
Wasting no time, Cadence jumped into her “cruiser” and snapped the reins. The four police ponies instantly threw their weight against their white leather harnesses, throwing Cadence back against the seat.
The AAPD only selected the fastest pony-girls, so Cadence knew they would overtake the thief in a heartbeat. Flipping the switch, she turned on the siren and light, which was a red globe atop a vertical pole just to the driver’s right side.
The pony-girls’ strong, well-muscled legs were pumping hard as they raced down the street after the now fleeing suspect in her stolen carriage. What the Hell was the thief doing, coming back to the scene of the crime like that? She had to know that she would get caught.
The stolen carriage suddenly turned down a side street. Cadence pulled hard with her right, guiding the ponies in that direction. She rounded the corner and followed the felonious fleeing female about two more blocks before the thief turned a hard left onto Packard St.
Cadence turned left after her but the stolen carriage was no longer there!
“Shit!” she yelled as she pulled back on the reins to slow the pony-girls down. Keeping her eyes sharp, Cadence scanned the area, looking down each side street as the “cruiser” passed them.
Suddenly, from behind, she heard, “Yoo-hoo! I’m right here McGee!”
The nerve of that bitch! The thief was once again standing on the carriage in the middle of the intersection, waving to Cadence.
Cursing again, Cadence yanked on the rein with her left hand, forcing the pony slaves to make a U turn into the other lane.
Giving in, she swallowed her pride and radioed for back up. That bitch was not going to get away with this.
Cadence and her ponies raced after the stolen carriage, making a sharp left here, and then a sharp right there. She was determined to bring this punk down!
The thief turned onto a private drive and raced into the home’s back yard, turning the corner behind the house. Cadence followed and then…
… disaster struck. Hidden behind the home was a pool, and unable to stop, the pony-girls ran right into the deep end, followed shortly by Cadence and the police carriage.
Surfacing, Cadence noticed an older woman snap a picture of her, but she could not be bothered by that now. Officer McGee glanced around, and saw Mr. Hoover’s carriage and pony-girls up tight against the house, but the miscreant who stole them was nowhere to be seen.
“Fuck!” she said, slamming her fist on the surface of the water as another photograph was taken. Coming to her senses, Cadence remembered the ponies, which were still bound to the submerged carriage.
With a deep breath, she dived to free her slaves. Luckily for them, several witnesses also dived in to help, and in just a couple of moments, all four of the ponies were alive and well on dry land.
The next couple of hours was not enjoyable, and thus made the perfect ending to a miserable day. The other officers had a good laugh at the soaking wet Officer McGee. The equally wet ponies were taken to the fem-vet to be checked out, and Cadence was forced to fill out several forms, (the A10 Incident report, the 25C13 injured livestock form for the pony slaves, and the P32A damaged police property form,) as well as type up her official report.
A search had been made, but the thief had apparently disappeared into thin air. At least Mr. Hoover got his beloved pony-girls back.
But Candace was still troubled as she opened the front door to her own house (a full three hours after the scheduled end of her shift). It just did not make sense! Why steal the carriage if you were just going to abandon it down the road? And why wave at an officer of the law, drawing attention to yourself during your getaway? It was as if the thief wanted Cadence to follow her.
Officer Cadence McGee glared down at the newspaper in her hand, a hand that was trembling with white-hot rage. There, on the front page of the paper was a photo of Cadence herself, soaking wet in the pool.
The headline read: LOCAL COP ALL WASHED UP!
No matter. That thief may be laughing now, but Cadence would get the last laugh when she caught that little bitch. She would be sentenced to pony-girl status for sure, and Officer McGee would be right there at the auction to buy her.
“Oh yes,” Cadence said to herself, “We’ll see who gets the last laugh.”