Synopsis: As about 100.000 youngsters every year from the states, Debbie is sent to a behaviour modification facility by her parents in order to adjust her way of life. This is her story.
Level one – Group Therapy
The next morning Susan followed me down to a large dining hall, where she unhooked the cuffs at my wrist so I had a little use of my forearms. It was not much of a breakfast. Just a kind of vegetable soup and a cup of tea, but it was OK to survive on.
After breakfast I was led to a room where 5 other girls were sitting in chairs. It was a kind of a group therapy session. All sat quietly until Susan introduced me. “This is Debbie. She is joining our group. Shall we take the circle around? Ann! You can start.”
“Hey I am Ann. I am a recovering brat and I have been good for 5 month.” The next girl went on.
“I am Patricia. I am a recovering brat and I have been good for 4 weeks and 1 one day.” So they continued until it was my turn. I thought I could play along.
“I am Debbie. I am a recovering brat and I have been good for 3 days.”
Susan interrupted. “Bravo Debbie. Shall we give her some applause?” They applauded.
Soon after all had introduced themselves we were given the agenda for today. Today’s subject was boyfriends.
Susan asked Patricia to start. Patricia told the group how she had been dating a guy for some time and one day he had lured her to his parents’ house, where he had offered her a drink from his parents’ liquor cupboard. She had never tasted alcohol before and it didn’t take long before the surroundings were blurred. He used the situation and had sex with her. Susan interrupted her.
“You know that you were not entirely without blame here. Guys are just like that. Whenever a girl gets raped, she is somehow to blame. They should take more care of themselves and regard purity as the most important element in their life. It is all about preserve yourself to your future husband.”
“I know and it was dreadful.” Patricia started to cry. “I felt dirty.”
I put my hand in the air. Susan motioned for me to talk. “What happened to the guy?”
“After I came back to my parents and broke down they took contact to his parents. Our parents took care of us and placed us both here. A trial would have damaged us both. I could have risk a punishment too because I was an under-aged drinker.”
“Is he here?”
“Yes.” Susan interrupted. “I think it would be a good idea to get him here.” She called a guard. 5 minutes later a hooded boy entered the room. Debbie almost fell down from my chair. Never in a million years had she seen such a bizarre sight. A boy in a corset. Susan noticed my astonishment. “Yes. Boys are also wearing a school-uniform.”
The guard removed the blindfold and the pecker gag on the hooded boy and guided him to an extra chair. Susan took the word.
“Say welcome to Joe in this session. He is just coming from O.P. He is not doing well in the program. It is something with taking responsibility for his actions. But why not let him tell his story with his own words.” She signalled Joe to start.
“I guess that it is about the evening this mess is about. I was and still am in love with Patricia. I had talked to some of the guy in town of how to get her to loosen up a little. They told me that they normally get the girl to drink a bottle or two of beer. But somehow beer was not her taste. So we tried with cocoa liqueur instead. After 2 glasses she seemed tired and I made my move. But we had used beer glasses and I did not realize that glasses for that kind of alcohol usually are much smaller. She was in fact half-unconscious. I believed that she consented.”
Susan interrupted “But she didn’t and that is exactly her fault. She brought herself into a situation where she was unable to protect herself. That is not your fault. That is my fault.”
Joe tried to protest. “But I served her the alcohol.”
“Yes. But she did choose to drink it. That is why the legal age of drinking is 21. She is to blame but of course you also are blame. Do you know what your fault is?”
He didn’t reply. It was obvious that he did not know.
“I guess you lack self-confidence so you have to turn to kinds of anaesthetic to archive what you want in this world. I have read Patricia’s file and I know that it is the wishes of both pair of parents that we can make a couple out of you in the end. But your relationship has to be based on a different foundation for it to last. Do you have anything to say to Patricia before you are off to O.P?”
He looked directly at Patricia with tears in his eyes. “I am so sorry. I still love you and if I had known what they would do to us I never would have made the move.”
“Sure. Take him back.” Susan did not believe him. Unbeknown to the group, she had been the victim of a rape because she had sneaked out of her parent’s house to see a nine-of-clock movie. The depression that followed her rape because she didn’t dare to tell her parents about the rape led to her grades dropping dramatically. Her parents took action and send her here, where she confessed to the rape during therapy. She learned that she had punished herself by not do what my parents had ordered her to. It was her action that led to her rape. By realising her responsibility towards herself, she was able to heal herself. She was now on level 4 and ready to graduate next month.
A sound brought Susan back to the present. Patricia had started to cried. Susan knew that it was a good sign. By admitting guilt she could turn herself back on the right track.
They continued what I regarded as a kind of brainwashing session for a half hour before Susan adjourned the meeting.
Other level four students and guards fetched the girls and Susan guided me into a kind of large office with small cubicles. They selected an empty one and inside there was a computer and a small desk. Susan had two short chains, which allowed me to have a little free movement of my forearms after Susan had put them
between my corset and the cuffs on my wrists.
Susan activated the computer and informed me of my password. All necessary programs for me to study as a distance student were present. A guard came with a box. “Your parents have sent us all your schoolbooks. This cubicle is your workplace for the rest of your stay, so I will put them up on these shelves.”
Susan spend about 15 minutes introducing me to the system and several time she pointed out that all internet traffic is monitored and either email and web-mail were possible without every single mail being censored. If a student would attempt to send unauthorised email, it will result in 3 x 8 hours in O.P.
Susan left with a remark about that I should work on both school work and my level one task, if she wanted to have a chance of getting to level two.
I spent the rest of the day getting my homework in order. I had always tried to have my homework in order. After all I had a whole week of work to catch up. It was hard but it also distanced me from the torment of being sent to this bizarre place by my parents.
What is wrong with me?
Every day seem to go as the day before. I woke up and was escorted to breakfast. Then it was off to the cubicle where I studied until lunch. After lunch is was to the cubicle until dinner. If I had to use the toilet, I should just raise my hand and a guard followed me to the toilet. Two times a day a small trolley came by with water or tea. All orders had to be made by pointing on a sign. No talking was allowed in the office area. Beside Susan, I never spoke to anyone during the week.
Her work came along fine, but the personal tasks didn’t.
I didn’t know what I had done in order to earn this punishment. Five days into Level one I broke down and the guard called Susan.
Susan escorted me down to the beach for us to be alone. Looking out on the Black River Bay, we heard distant screams. It sounded like screams from some children “What is that?”
“Oh. That is the Mormons place. It is another behaviour modification institution. It is quite infamous. You must have heard about it. It is that place where O.P. in lying on the ground on your stomach with only a pillow to support your head and the pillow was even something the government here on Jamaica ordered them to provide. Children are beaten up over there. Suicides are known to happen over there. Infections are not treated. By the way: You started the conversation.”
“I am sorry. Don’t punish me.”
“Because we are alone, I will let you go this time. Breaking this rule would have meant 8 hours in O.P. But what is wrong with you? I thought that you were a quick learner. You have not acknowledged that you need to work with your self so you can heal.”
“I don’t know what I have done wrong. I am 18 years old. A lot of my classmates have done a lot of bad things including drug use, drinking and sex. I have done nothing of such things. I don’t know what to write.”
“You have been disobedient to a start. Try to remember all kind of conflicts and see the point from your parents view even if you don’t feel that they were right. Parenthood is something that last until you are 21. Not a second before.”
“How will I ever become an adult if I am not allowed to even discuss items, which is quite normal to a teenager?”
“That is not the question in such institutions you are at here. The only question is how you are going to please your parents and by this behaviour in fact please yourself so you can return home. Please do it for yourself. I should not say it but you can always act out when you are 21. By accident, I got my hands on a survey that shows that most behaviour modification courses don’t have a lasting effect. ”
“What are you saying - That I should fake it?”
“Yes. Most of us had real problems. I know I had one. I have read your file and honest: I can not understand the reason of why you were sent here.”
I looked out over the ocean. “If I am going to fake it I need clue of what to write.” Susan handed me a small note. Memorise these clue words and tear up the paper and eat it.”
Debbie looked at it. It read: Movie, sex, relation, lawn.
As I chewed on the paper, I was still a question mark. Susan hugged me. “Remember to see the issue as if you are the parent, when you write your paper.” We were interrupted by another scream coming from across the bay. “Exactly what are they doing to those poor children across the bay?”
“Look it up on Wikipedia. You have access to it. It is an approved site. It something with World Wide. They call it a school but they had created some bogus accreditation institution not recognized by the board in Washington and a paper is nothing worth. It is just advanced bible studies.”
We walked back to school.
It took four days before I had finished my tasks and graduated to level two.
After breakfast Susan took me outside the school building. As they came closer to the stables I had a confession to make. “I am afraid of horses. I don’t know why my parents had chosen a horsemanship program.”
“Perhaps they just want you to confront your fears but no worry you won’t come near to a horse.”
“Wait and see.”
When we entered the stables my jaw dropped. A lot of students had bridles on and was lead around by other students. “What is this?”
“This is pony-girls and -boys. They are able to pull carts, ploughs, harrow and even large lawn movers. Get the big picture.”
I now knew the main reason of why she was sent here. My thrifty dad wanted to save petrol to his lawn mover. Susan at once noticed that I was about to explode and quickly interfered. “Calm down at once or you will end up back in O.P! Curb your feelings at once!”
I subdued my anger and followed Susan over to a guard. Instead of the cuffs they put my arms in something they called an arm-binder. My leg-irons came off. It was hard for my shoulders. “Before I gag you, I am going to explain what you are going to do in week one. I don’t know whether you were much of an athlete, but you will be in good form, when this week is over.” She pointed at something which looked like a carousel. “This is a walker. We are going to hook you on to it and you just have to walk round and round until we disconnect you again.”
“I don’t want to do it. I will rather choose O.P.”
“Well that leaves us no choice. Look at the wall over here. This is enlargement of the paragraphs of the contract your parents signed with the school. It states that we can give you a nose ring or piercing in the nipples so we can attach a leach there. It is your choice how pleasant this experience should be. Your
parents ordered horsemanship program for you and that we will give you in one way or another.”
“I have changed my mind. Connect me.”
“Not so fast. I have noticed that you have a stopped-over posture. We have to fix that.” The guard handed me a collar. “Lift your head.” She put it on and it was impossible for me to lower my head. “Now – That is way better.” As a final touch they inserted a bit gag which was a part of a head harness in my mouth.
They took me over to the walker and connected a leash hanging down from the apparatus to the top of the head harness, where there was a small D-ring. I began to walk. Round and round I went in a slow pace. After a little while Susan returned. “Now you have adjusted to the pace. Next thing to fix is your walk. You need to raise your feet more and not walk like you are dragging your feet along the earth.” She had a whip and motioned me to raise my knees. I tried my best but I was tired. However a quick stroke with the whip woke me at once. “Don’t make me hurt you for real. You have an hour left to the lunch break.”
I panted as I continued with the walk. Susan had to use the whip a couple of times before I was disconnected so I could have my lunch.
I expected to be guided over to the dining hall but instead I was lead down to the stable where there was an empty box. Inside the box there was a small table with a plate with porridge. “You are now a horse, so you will eat like a horse during level 2. That means porridge because raw corns after all would not give you sufficient food so you have strength to deal with the demand you will be met with. You can drink over here.” She showed me something that looked like it belonged in rabbit cage. She put my mouth up to it and drank in order to show me how it should be done.
When the bit was removed I started to eat and without my hands and it was not easy. After an hour Susan got back. “I forgot to remove the leather flap between your legs. If you have to empty your bowels just do it. Level three students will be here and clean it.” I was followed back to the walker and the rest of the day went learning how to walk in a proper manner.
In the evening I was guided back to the stable. After dinner the arm binder came off and the cuffs came on instead. I was locked inside the box and ordered to sleep in the hay. It was nice to sleep without a gag ball in my mouth and tired of the hard training, I fell asleep almost at once.
Early next morning I woke by someone knocking on the wooden wall in the box. It came from the box next to me.
I looked at wall and found a little knot with a small hole. I looked into the eye of a girl looking just as old as my self. “Who are you?” I whispered.
“You don’t have to whisper. You are on level two. We are allowed to talk when we are in our stables. By the way: I am Judith. What were you sent here fore?”
“I was disobedient according to my parents and trying to have the privileges of an adult too soon.”
“It seems a little unfair to send you here for normal teenager behaviour. I was skipping school and smoke dope regularly.”
We heard footsteps. It was the guards. When we were wearing the arm binder again, Judith made a last comment before the bit gag came in. “Maybe if you do fine, you will earn your tail within the end of the week.”
I didn’t know what she meant and I was off alone to the walker. My stomach had been acting very odd and it did not take long before she got diarrhoea. It ran down my leg but apart from a corseted boy removing the most from the ground, nobody seemed to care. My skin became irritated and just to make it worse a guard noticed that she did not lift my feet high enough from the ground. I almost stumbled when he gave me a lash with the whip on my buttock.
It was so unfair. Tears began to run down over my cheeks. I sobbed but the guard was merciless. I received another lash and then another. I felt it like she was going to pass out when Susan entered and asked the guard what was wrong. After a little chat, she came over to me and released me. Luckily it was time for my coffee break, but first Susan called the boy over and ordered him to clean me.
The boy took me to a kind of bathroom with kind of frame. I was placed in the frame and he attached some straps to my corset and tightened them so I couldn’t move. Then he took a hose. It was cold water and he washed my legs and my private parts which made me scream out of shock. Susan entered the bath room and told the boy to clean me so an accident was less likely to happen. He went behind my and suddenly I felt a little pain when something passed my sphincter. I was shocked and soon I felt liquid enter my bowels. The pressure built up inside me and I began to sweat. I groaned in the gag and bit very hard on it when the discomfort changed into stomach pain. The fluid stopped and Susan came close to my face. “Please don’t spill any of the water while I prepare you or you will regret it.” I was relieved when the foreign body was taken out of me and I tried to avoid spilling any of the water. But then another thing entered me. It was bigger and it was painful. I groaned and tried to move away. The pain increased. It was pushed very slowly inside me. I began to sob. Suddenly it was inside. Susan talked again. “It was a butt plug just to make sure that you don’t spill it too soon. We will leave you now for 10 minutes.” They both left.
I began to sweat. The pain in my stomach continued to build up. Soon it became unbearable. I cried but I could move. I cried and shouted for my parents even though that I knew that they were 1000 of miles away. I passed out when I ran out of air.
Susan later told me that they returned after 10 minutes and found me unconscious. Susan brought me back with some smelling salt. The boy had an apron, Wellingtons and heavy rubber gloves on. He removed the plug and stools ran down on the floor. He took the hose again and cleaned me. Then another plug was inserted instead. “It was fine that we had a reason to insert a butt-plug, so her splinter is used to being stretched a little before she earns her tail.” Susan nodded.
Susan padded me on my cheek. I was released and followed down to a little kitchen where Susan removed the gag and served me a glass of water with a straw. I was thirsty and I drank the whole glass before I asked about the pain in my behind. “What is a butt plug?” If Susan had not known that I was the well-behaved girl in this place, she would have been surprised. She explained that it was a kind of think dildo with a thin base and it was a proper treatment so my stomach problems did not delay my progress at the school.
“But it hurt.”
“Get use to it. You will wear it until you earn your tail.”
I resumed my training at the walker. I was tired and the guard was on to me all the time. He gave me several stripes with the whip because I couldn’t raise my legs high enough.
When Susan released me from the walker that evening I collapsed. The boy helped Susan with me and once inside the box, they nurse me so I recovered and was able to eat a little. However, I was fast asleep.
To be continued...