Synopsis: As about 100.000 youngsters every year from the states, Debbie is sent to a behaviour modification facility by her parents in order to adjust her way of life. This is her story.
Early morning
”Hello Honey! Wake up” It was my mother. I looked up. There were two strangers in the room – a man and a woman.
I was confused. Who were they? I looked at the clock. It was three o’clock in the morning.
“Betty. I have found this nice boarding school for you. These people are your escort to the school. Please be nice and follow their instruction. I have written a letter for you with further explanation. I have to go now. I love you. Bye.”
She ran out of the door. For a moment there was silence. Then I heard the front door. My mother had left the house.
The man stepped forward.
“Come out of the bed and undress. You need to be prepared for the journey.” I stepped out of the bed. They seemed much stronger than me and very strict. What was going on?
“Turn around and cross your arms on your back.” I did as I was told. I was so scared. My mom had always told me not to talk with strangers and now she had turned me over to these unknown people.
I felt them grab my arms and put some leather around them. I later learned that it was some kind of muff. They also put something that felt like leather cuffs on my upper arms and I felt as they tighten some straps between the muff and the cuffs. I had no use of my arms.
“What are you doing? It hurt.” Actually it was bearable, but I was so scared, that I almost was going to pee right there.
“Don’t talk. Just do as you are told. Then it would go easy and smooth.” Suddenly they pulled something over my head. It must be a leather hood. I tried to resist but they both held me while the hood were laced tight. I could not see and barely hear.
There was a mouth opening and I started to yell for my mom. But then they inserted something in my mouth. It tasted like rubber and filled almost my mouth totally. I had at that point never sucked a dick, so I did not recognise that it was a pecker gag.
I started to sob. I was so afraid. What are they going to do to me?
Then I felt something soft between my legs. It was some kind of padded underwear. I later learned that it was a disposable diaper. They were just finishing when I felt that they put leather cuffs on my legs. How were they expecting me to travel when my legs were tied together?
They took me under their arms and carried me between them. I did not know where they were going. I felt the coolness of the night and I knew that they had carried me outside. It was so shameful - me in almost nothing in a public street. I cried inside the hood.
They guide me into a car and once inside, they strapped me tight.
It was an unpleasant way to ride.
I was all-tearful inside the hood. Why had my parents done this to me?
My name is Debbie and I am 18 years old. I am a single child. I live with my parents.
I have always had good grades in school. I enjoy music and basketball. I have been on my school team for year until I injured my knee. I turned my interest to history and was a straight-A student. I don’t touch alcohol or any drugs. Normally I didn’t go out. Not even to a movie.
But then I met Brian at the Library. I know about my mother’s principles about boys. And I respect her. I have never been with Brian outside the school.
However, a month ago I asked if I could go to the movie with Brian. My mother went ballistic. She felt betrayed because I had not told her about Brian and me talking to him at school. She even claimed that I had slept with him in school. I – of course – denied these false allegations.
I had to go back to Brian and tell him that I couldn’t go. Some week after we broke up even before we got to be a real couple.
In the summer petrol price rose and my father decided that we should use a manual lawn mower instead of a lawn tractor. Our lawn is huge (about 3 acres) and normally it is my job, so I protested. My father had to cave in at last but it took a week before he gave up.
Then a week ago, both my mother and my father confronted me just after breakfast and asked me to take a drug test; they got from the local drug store. I had not problem with it, because I am no drug user. I was rather surprised when it became positive. Of course there was a lot of shouting. I thought that they had falsified the test. It did not show the correct result.
My parents were not convinced and took me to the doctor. We did a blood test and it was of course negative. The doctor had written a note, where he explained that the poppy seeds on the bread had caused the positive test and informed my parents that such cheap test had a large margin of error.
So they calmed down and I did expect our daily life to go on a usual. Well, that was until now.
I could sense that the car was moving. After a while I felt someone fiddle at the side of the hood.
“Now you can hear me. The hood, you have on is an isolation hood. We decide for you when to hear, see and speak. If you behave nice, you will be able to see when we are in the plane, if not: Get use to the darkness. I will remove the blindfold on the hood, so you can read the impact letter from your mom explaining what is going on.”
He removed the blindfold on the hood and held a letter from my mom up in front of my eyes.
---
Dear Debbie
You are on your way to a boarding school in Jamaica. The school's name is Meditation Inlet and it has a very good reputation. It uses a Victorian age theme and purity is its seat of honour.
You are going to take the line of horsemanship. I know that you are afraid of such animals but in this case there won’t be a problem.
You are totally in control of when you are going to return. Work with the program and you will be back in a year or work against it and you will be able to leave it, when you are 21, but if you choose to, you are no longer our daughter.
Please follow the instructions given to you by your escort team. They are here to make sure that nothing bad happens to you on your way to the program.
You will be able to talk on the phone with us when you reach level 2 in the program. Until you accomplish that, we whish you good luck.
Many kisses.
Mom and Pop.
---
Tears began to pour down from the eye openings. The man from the escort company took a paper tissue and wiped my eyes.
“Relax. I know that it is hard but your safety is in our hand and it is very obvious that your parents only have your best interest in mind.” He hugged me in an effort to calm me down, but it did not help.
My parents – my very own parents – had sent me away from their home with a complete pair of strangers. My entire world – the safety of my house – has been violated. There was no safe place on earth for me anymore.
We drove for a half an hour, then we entered a private airfield. A small airplane for 20 people stood ready and we went onboard.
I was shocked. The inside looked like a scene from “Con Air”. But in “Con Air” the prisoners were not hooded.
I was followed to my seat. The muff and cuffs on my arms were removed. The man told me to sit down and when I did he began to fasten straps across my stomach, my arms and the cuffs on my legs were chained to some hooks in the floor. I could not move. I needed to go to the toilet. I tried to make sounds but only mumbling sounds gave out. Luckily he understood that I had some questions and removed my gag.
“I need to go to the toilet.”
“Just use your diaper. That is what it is there for.”
“But, I can’t. I need a toilet!”
“Use your diaper. I don’t need that kind of disobedience.” He pushed the gag inside again and fastened the blindfold as well as the ear part. I was totally isolated again. 15 minutes later, I gave up and peed in the diaper. If I had not had the hood on, everyone would see that I was red in the face from shame.
I felt the plane move and although I have never flown before I guess that we were on our way to our destination.
When we landed I felt the plane stop and then it took forever until one of the guards removed the ear part and explained that it would take sometime before the cab to the school came. He ordered me to suck the gag because I was about to get some water through a tube in the gag.
I was thirsty but the water tasted of rubber. It was awful.
The time went by. I peed in my diaper once more. I sobbed out of pure shame. My diaper was so wet and I was embarrassed.
Then I felt arms around me. The ear part was once more removed.
“Relax and be careful when you stand up. You have been sitting so long that there is a chance that your legs cannot support you.”
Once I was up on my feet, the muffs and cuffs were put on again.
They guided me out of the plane and over to a car. Then we drove for hours until the car came to a stop.
Once I was outside the car, the guard removed the blindfolds and I saw my future home for the next period of my life.
I saw a sign, which read: “Welcome to Meditation Inlet”. After letting me rest for a moment; they guided me into the main building.
Inside the building, they placed me in an office. One of guards took the hood off. Then he hugged me.
“Be brave, my girl. You are going to be fine. Your parents love you or else they would not have you taken here in order to save your life. I can see that you are afraid, but this place will cure you from that kind of behaviour, that can ruin your life.”
I was still too shocked in order to answer. They left.
I waited.
Then a strange short man entered the room with two of the guards from the school.
“Welcome to Medication Inlet. This is your home until you graduate. Let me tell you how we run this place. When I am finished you are free to ask, but when we leave this office you have started the program and then each conversation must follow the rules or you will face the consequences. Our program consists of four levels. You start with nothing. Everything has to be earned by good behaviour. If you work against the program, if you do not behave, you will be punished and lose points and it will take longer before you reach next level. While trying to pass on the next level, you will continue to study. Your parents have made arrangement with your school so you now are a distance student. We have set up a VPN-tunnel to your school. But beware: Our firewall monitors every attempt of illegal email or instant messaging. Every email you write, we will read and forward on your behalf. Understand!”
I nodded. They had the upper hand. I have to wait for my chance. I had no plan but I could run and try to make the best of it.
“First we have level 1. You have few goals:”
• Adjustment to the program
• Awareness of behaviour patterns
• Writing a letter of apology to your parents.
• Write your life story, which must be a minimum of three pages.
• Write a personal inventory list of all harm done to self and others.
“I hope that you understand and complete them. But it is up to you. Do it and you are on to level two. Don’t do it and you do not move on. There are also rules:”
• Don’t talk without being asked. If you need to go to the toilet, raise your arm and wait for someone to speak to you.
• Have eye contact when you talk with someone.
• Do your chores without hesitation or delay
“Now that is about all I am going to tell you about the program so far. Do you have questions?”
I said no. I just want out of here. He was obvious happy about hearing himself talking.
“Follow me. We are going to find a school uniform to you.”
I followed him down the hall, where two large women waited.
“Please go inside this room and follow their instructions.”
I went in. I was a very strange room. Two women waited in there.
“Move over here”
Suddenly the women took each of my arms and put leather cuffs on them. The cuffs were connected to some ropes, which were connected with pulleys in the ceilings. They pulled the ropes and my arms were forced in the air.
“Stop. What are you doing?”
“Please. Listen to what we are going to say to you. These cuffs are suspensions cuffs. Hold on to them.”
They pulled me off the ground. Then they took some cuffs, which were connected by a chain to the floor and placed them on my ankles. They continued to hoist me until my body was stretched out.
“Stop. You are going to tear me apart.”
Then the man entered again. I blushed from shame. I have never exposed my body for any man before.
“Let’s get the uniform on her.” One of the women produced a stiff kind of leather piece and put it around my body. I have seen such items in magazines. It was a corset but it looked a little different than a normal corset.
As soon as they had wrapped it around my body they began to pull the laces. At once I felt it as they were going to cut me in half.
“STOP. It is hurting me. You cannot do that. STOP!”
They ignored my cries and tugged the laces every time I breathed out. After 5 minutes I did not have air to protest anymore. My outbursts were reduced to silent grunts.
They stopped. “We are going to leave you now. The fabric has to rest.”
They left and I was left sobbing. What had I done to deserve this? I only wanted to go to the movie. It seemed like I was going to hang there forever. My arms hurt. Finally they returned.
They started to tug the laces once more. I began to experience tunnel vision. Then all went black.
I woke by a bitter smell. They had used smelling salts on me.
“Sto..” I had no air. Every tug they made, forced a grunt from me. I was sure they were going to kill me. Finally they stopped.
“18 inches. In a week or two we perhaps can take another inch. Her parents have chosen the horsemanship-program for her, so she will never be down to sixteen inches.”
They lowered me to the ground. At the bottom of the corset there was some kind of flap hanging down. One of the women grabbed it from behind and pulled it between my legs.
“We are always expecting teenagers to abuse themselves. Although masturbation is accepted, uncontrolled use may lead to unwanted sexual gathering. So we want to decide time and place for your personal well-being.”
I had not noticed it but there were D-rings on the leather corset and they applied leather cuffs on my upper arms and my wrist and connected them to various D-rings, so I was totally without the use of my arms.
In the end they applied cuffs to my ankles, and connected them with a chain, so I only could take small steps. “We won’t risk you running from us.” What were they thinking? I could hardly breathe. I didn’t know where I was.
“Now for the introduction phase. This stage we also call Observation Placement also known as O.P. It is time for you to reflect on your behaviour and what you were about to do to yourself before you were sent here. Observation Placement is also used as punishment, whenever you don’t work with the program at any level and as a transaction period if you drop back in levels during the program.”
They guided me down the hall and into a room with oddly looking furniture.
“What is that?”
“That is a toilet chair. You are going to be sitting here and thinking about your past for a period. It is actually a help to you. We are fully aware that it is stressful to be removed from your home with such a short notice. New country. New school. All that. So this is going to calm you down so you can gather your thoughts and do the task of level one as fast as possible. Take a seat.”
I sat in one of the chairs. As soon as I was seated they unlocked the cuffs from my corset and strapped me to the chair instead.
“The chair is fully adjustable. You are going to be as comfy as possible. Please guide the staff so they do it right or it will be painful in the long run.”
I was not in a position to protest. They certainly seemed to mean business. So I played along. There was nothing of a view in the room. In fact there were no windows. So this would be boring, but how long could this take? A couple of hours? I had to endure this, so I had a chance to investigate how to escape from this odd place. Was this a school at all?
Finally they had adjusted the chair. One from the staff removed the flap and I was ready for O.P. Well, at least that is what I thought. Suddenly one of the men pulled a leather hood down over my head. I started to protest, but they ignored me completely and laced it tight. It had openings for my eyes and mouth. They held my head tight while they applied some kind of harness to it, so I could not move my head.
I sobbed and begged them to stop.
The man spoke to me again. “Well. I can feel a kind of resistance again the kindness we are showing you. But you will learn discipline in time. Here is how it works: You will be here 3 times for 8 hours. A senior student will check in on you every hour with water and feed you 3 times a day. If you have to go, then do it. The student will also clean you when you are finished. We are going to leave you when we are finished.”
They applied a blindfold to the hood and something entered my mouth. It tasted of rubber. I was later told that is was a pecker gag.
There was silence. Nothing happened. I tried to pull my restraints, but they had left me totally immobilized. My thoughts were torturing me. What had I done to deserve this? My stomach hurt due to the fact that it was so compressed. I cried but at some point I got so tired and exhausted that I fell into sleep.
“Hello” I woke. Still darkness. “Please move your fingers on the left hand if you hear me.” I did.
“I am Susan and I am a level 4 student. I am your mentor and future trainer. Please, work with me or I have to punish you in order to avoid being punished myself. I am going to remove the gag. Please do not start to talk to me. It is against the rules. I have to start every conversation.”
She removed the gag. I did not dare to speak.
“So. I am going to provide you with something to drink. And I will ask you if you have some questions. You may ask them now.”
“Where am I?”
“You are in a boarding school called Meditation Inlet. It is in Jamaica, along other schools for troubled youth. However, unlike other schools this school does not beat students up or break their body parts as it is custom here in Jamaica. Nor are you at risk of catching all those kinds of diseases caused by unhealthy food. But we do have strict discipline and your only chance to ever return home to your family is to obey and work hard yourself.”
“But I don’t know what I am going to do. What if I don’t make it before I turn 21 in three years?” I broke down and cried.”
“Hush. Hush. Calm down. You will make it. You are still so young. Most students are back in their homes in a year. However, some are sent here too late and they are offered an exit plan.”
“Exit plan.”
“Yes. If they choose not to stay here, when they turn 21, they are given a little money and a plane ticket to the states and just have to continue in life without their family. Your parents are attending courses too because your demise is partially caused by their behaviour and their first lesson is to cut you totally off, if you don’t complete the program.”
“That is gruesome. I have not done anything wrong.”
“See that is denial. All people have done something wrong during their life. Those who are wise acknowledge them and take responsibility. All actions have consequences you know. Take responsibility for your actions and grow up while passing this program. Now I am going to feed you with soup. Beware it is hot.”
She put the spoon to my mouth. It was not too hot. I ate slowly because I had no use of my eyes and I had to feel the spoon near my mouth. When I was finished she asked whether I was thirsty and after a drink, she said some comforting words and put the gag back. I was in darkness again.
At some point during the day I had to pee. It was humiliating. I had not choice. I peed and after a while I felt someone wipe my private parts. I sobbed out of pure humiliation.
The time passed on and Susan came with more water. This was torture. Just pure darkness and I lost track of time. Suddenly a panic attack struck me. I pulled desperately against my bonds. I even tried to scream, but it was impossible with the little air I had in my lungs and with the gag in my mouth.
I must have gotten a shortage of air due to the corset, because the next I knew was that I was wakened by the familiar smelling salts once more.
“Hey. It is Susan again. You had passed out. I saw you panic attack. It is common and nothing to worry about. Here. I have soup for you and remember no talking before I ask you to.”
I finished the soup and just before the gag was put in, she tried to cheer me up. “Hold on. This is the last leg for today. Next time you will be freed and then it is off to bed.”
I must have drifted away again because suddenly I had this sharp bright light in my eyes. It took some time before I could recognize something in the room. There she was. Susan was a girl with dark hair about 20 years old, but she looked like a small girl with her hair put up in rat tails. Her waist was so tight. She later told me with pride that it was laced down to 16 inches.
A guard helped Susan with the task of getting out of the chair. I had difficulties with standing. My legs felt too weak but at last I was standing as before with my arms in restraints and bound to the corset. “Let’s get you to your bed so you can sleep.”
After a long walk, where Susan supported me and guided me because I was about to stumble several times due to my chained legs, we reached the dormitory. There were eight beds in the room. I was guided to one of them. Susan hooked a chain connected to the bed to the cuffs on my legs. My arms were freed but Susan took some gloves and put them over my hands. They were closed with a small padlock. Susan saw the question in my face and answered it before I would break the rules. “These gloves will just prevent you from tampering with the stays. Open your mouth.”
When I did as I was told a huge gag ball was forced into my mouth. I tried to say something, but Susan put her finger up as a sign for me to shut up.
“You will find that the ball is hollow. You will have no problems with breathing. Of course there will be some drooling but the main thing is to prevent you from talking to the other students when teachers and level four students are not around. Now sleep well. Goodnight.”
She left. I was exhausted so I feel asleep very fast.
Next morning I was woken by some noise. I sat up and saw that all the beds were occupied. Susan was already up and was about to take one of the students out of the dormitory. A guard worked on the next student. I could see that all the students were gagged. I felt dry in my mouth and sore in my jaws. I could see the wet spot on my pillow where I had drooled all night long.
One after one the students was fetched by Susan. I tried to look some of them in their eyes but they just seemed to stare with empty eyes. I caught one of the girls looking directly at me and I stared into the saddest eyes I ever had seen.
Finally it was my turn. Not surprisingly we went back to O.P. When all the stuff was in place, Susan asked me if I had a question. One was on my mind. “When do I get to take a bath? I used to shower once a day.”
“Well we girls shower every Friday. The boys do it on Saturday. The rest of the time we just get to wash our faces. Remember that you don’t have a lot of clothes on. The smell is not all that bad. Now use this time in O.P to reflect on your life.”
Another 8 hours were spent in darkness. I fell asleep twice. I lost track of time. I even got a panic attack once more. Susan took care of me and cleaned me off when I had to empty my bowels. In the evening, it was back to my bed.
Day three was a copy of day two. Somehow 8 hours did not feel like 8 hours anymore. I had lost count of the number of times Susan attended me and was quite surprised when she released me from the chair in the evening.
On my way back to the dormitory, she placed her hand on my shoulder. “Look. You are doing just fine. You are now on phase one. Finish those tasks there are given you and you are soon off to the horsemanship program.”
To be continued...