Darcy, The Trash Picker

by Bill Dee
copyright 2002
- do not use without the author's permission.

Darcy was a mean, little, old man, (mean and nasty), that hated women, especially young, pretty ones. It was a dark day that brought the orphan girl, ‘Tina’ into town the same day that Darcy happened to be there also.

Tina was a pretty blond girl twenty-two years of age who lost her parents at the age of twelve and lived on the streets ever since. She lived on the scraps that the other people threw out but would never think to take what was not hers nor hurt any man or animal.

Darcy was also the town junk man and believed all that was thrown out was his. It was at the same time that Tina happened to be in the ally the same time as Darcy when she spotted an old coat that someone had thrown in the trash. She went to pick it up and Darcy started to shout, “Stop thief, that’s my coat.”

She tried to explain but Darcy made a grab for her arm.

She got scared and started to run but ran into Darcy’s old mule, accidentally injuring its hind leg.

He started screaming, “Look what you did to my poor mule, you clumsy stupid fool. You couldn’t even take his place.” He thought quickly, ‘hey, why not?’ He grabbed her, tied her hands behind her back, tied her ankles, gagged her, threw her into the back of his wagon, tossed an old blanket over her head and then headed out of town. That was over three weeks ago and nobody had seen or heard about Tina since then.

Oh, about the mule, there was nothing wrong with him that a little soaking with warm water and liniment wouldn’t cure.

Little did anybody know but Darcy was training Tina to take the mule’s place. Darcy had brainwashed her into thinking it was her fault. In her mind she now thought that she had hurt the poor animal and it was fitting that she take its place.


He placed an old bridle that he made-over to fit around Tina’s head and in her mouth was a bit from an old, long dead pony. He cinched around her waist a girth belt that once belonged to a weight lifter and laced her arms, wrist-to-opposite-elbow, into a piece of leather that he found in the scrap bin of the leather shop in town. He was certainly resourceful if not cheep.

Stepping back to admire his work he noticed something was missing but didn’t know just what. He thought for a minute, “That’s it, people will have to know we are coming. Searching through his stuff he found an old pair of silver earrings and a couple of sleigh bells from the harness of his mule. He pierced her nipples with a pin that he dipped in alcohol and burned with a match, inserted the earrings, slipped on the bells and closed the ends. Next he screwed a block of wood to the bottom of a pair of work boots and to this he screwed on a spare pair of shoes from his mule.

He stood back again and smiled, ‘There,’ he thought. ‘All finished.’

Darcy then led Tina over to the trash wagon and hooked her up. With all the strength she could muster she started to pull, but the wagon was so heavy she could hardly budge it.

‘Damn, this won’t do, I need more mule power,’ he thought to himself. ‘I got it!’

That evening he snuck into town and walked the back streets, searching for just the right one. Someone he knew wouldn’t be missed or cared if she was. There she was, dirty and scruffy looking. Looking her over he knew she was pretty and would clean up to be a perfect companion for Tina. He knew if she was somebody that someone cared about, eyebrows would be raised and questions would be asked, he couldn’t afford that. He had seen her around town and knew she had a liking for the hard stuff.

He cajoled her to his place by telling her that he had a bottle that he would be willing to share with her.

She woke the next morning with her mind in a fog lying next to a pretty blond that was trussed up in an outfit that resembled something that a horse might wear. When her head cleared she realized that she was trussed up in the same type of outfit, from bridle to bit. Her nipples pierced with rings and bells attached, a huge belt around her waist and on her feet the oddest pair of boots she ever saw.

Darcy came into the old barn and hustled them outside. He led them over to the old wagon and hitched them up to it.

“Now, you two should be able to pull my wagon with ease.”

With a flick of the whip and landing square across both of their asses, they started to pull the wagon. It was tough going at first but with a little encouragement, from Darcy and the whip, they were now going at a decent trot.

By the time they hit town both were well marked.

“Come on you two mules, I have a lot of work to make up for and there is only so much time in a day to do it.”

A lot of the townsfolk came out to see the trash wagon now pulled by these two women, and before anyone asked, he spoke up, “This blonde was the one who injured my mule and she volunteered to take its place. The brunette is a friend of hers and volunteered to help her. And yes, its going to take a long time til my mule is able to go back to work, so expect to see these two every day from now on.”

With that said, and another crack of the whip, they were off collecting the town’s trash.