Pam Alino

by Brian Brookwell

- do not use without the author/artist's permission.
- more stories and art at The Mermaid's Tail


e caught up with Miss Pam Alino on her massive ranch in Arizona. Although we were nearly wacked from the ride out to her favorite valley, she was fresh.

We asked her why her ranch was in so desolate a place. "The papparazzi" was her answer. When pressed, she told your reporter that she hated the constant hounding she gets when in Hollywood or New York. It is easy to believe with her distinctive style and elegant lines. "So rather than kicking a photographer into the hospital and herself into a lawsuit," she continued, she chose this beautiful location as a ranch. Your reporter still didn't understand and pressed the question yet again. "How many papparazzi are willing to hike one hundred and fifty kilometers in the desert?" she asked with a slight smile. "There's no water out there and my security people catch every vehicle." She smiled. The light dawned. The desert was part of her security system. "Of course it is," she smiled. "You'd not be here if I'd declined your interview."

Shocked, your reporter asked what he hoped was a rhetorical question: "Of course, you don't just leave them out there, do you?" The answer, after a lengthy pause, "We only catch a small fraction of them. They just lose their equipment and are bundled off to the local jail as trespassers. I'm not terribly concerned by aircraft either. This is an ex-military base and the active base borders it. The military still maintain this as a no-fly zone. The roads and tracks around here are confusing. Without an accurate map or an escort, the lack of water, hidden crevasses and sink holes, and any of the living hazards of the desert claim them in a couple hours."

"But surely ..." I began. She laughed and shrugged. "They're not welcome here. The local county takes a dim view of them what with all the donations I make to schools and hospitals and such. They still have local ordinances concerning loitering and trespassing that are quite stiff. The last one got seven years on a chain gang. But he was young and there were extenuating circumstances."

Somewhat non-plussed, the reporter made a quick change of subject. "What now? After the smashing success of Well World, what will you be working on now?" She smiled, a small lopsided smile, and said, "Well there's talk of a sequel. Seems Well World is part of a whole series of books. If the script is right ..." I raised a Spock eyebrow. She laughed, "And the money, too. Of course! I'd like to take a bit of a rest for a month or two. I've been approached by a producer on Broadway and my agent is discussing script and terms. Multivision is also a possibility, I suppose. I'm not sure I'll project well in the small sphere, though." Your reporter wondered inwardly just how much was art and how much was commerce. After the initial part of the interview, though, he decided discretion was, by far, the best tack in this storm.